Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
