If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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