I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
