God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
