This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
