Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
