addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i think my cat just said my name.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize