well you can't waste a boner
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
