Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

I don't think brook has ever known best

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(917): View more from New York City

fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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(816): View more from Missouri

I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo

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(802): View more from Vermont

just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

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(540): View more from Virginia

A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba

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