I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
