Are we in a gay sports bar?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we're so committed to being not committed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize