Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize