I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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