i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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