Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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