Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just pee around me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
