Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
