What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
