You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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