Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
