My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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