Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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