Fuck appropriateness.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
