I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
