I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
