It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
