You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize