What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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