she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
