Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
