We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
