I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
