So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
