Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
