He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize