is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
