You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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