My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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