I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
