I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
