he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
