Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
