Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
