covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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