Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
