Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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