dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
