i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
