Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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