There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
