you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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