For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
