Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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