im holly from the hills drunk
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
MIDGETS
????
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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