He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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