Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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