im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
