what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
And then he peed in my hair
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