but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
