no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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