I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
